The Jenni ShowAvatar The Last Airbender
by Luna Silvereyes
Summary: Jenni's my name, show hosting's my game. Watch as I bring on the characters from Avatar The Last Airbender and submit them to humiliating questions and socalled torture you'll only find in my crazy little worlds. Believe me, it's worth it.
1. Aang

**The Jenni Show**

**This Week's Topic: Avatar-The Last Airbender**

**(I do not own ay of the Avatar People, only the audience, the stage crew and myself.) **

Aang 

Me: Hi everyone, welcome to another segment of "The Jenni Show" named for me because I founded it. This week's topic is the people from our favorite show since whatever was a hit last time, Avatar-The Last Airbender! (Sweeps hand to curtain where Aang steps out nervously. He sits in the chair beside desk.) Say hi to the folks Aang.

Aang: Um, hi?

Me: Everyone, meet the avatar himself, Aang the last Airbender. He enjoys riding animals, goofing off and flying on his glider. He is a vegetarian and has a crush on Katara.

Aang: Say what!?

Me: So Aang, how many elements have you mastered so far?

Aang: Two, working on three.

Me: Air, water and earth, right?

Aang: Yep.

Me: So tell me, do you really like Katara?

Aang: As a friend, yes.

Me: I see that blush.

Aang: Knock it off, Jenni. I know a little firebending too.

Me: Sure, whatever. Now tell me this. Who would you consider the greater threat, Zhao, Zuko, or Azula?

Aang: I don't know, they're all kind of crazy.

Zhao: I heard that!

Me: Security!

Zhao: Let go of me you—!

(Loud scuffling and a crash. Man's voice yells—)

Crew hand #1: Sorry Jenni, I hope that wasn't valuable!

Me: (sighs) No Brandon, it wasn't, only a priceless family heirloom passed down through eight generations of my family since the dark ages.

Aang: I think I'd better go

Me: Wait! I still have some questions for you.

(Aang sits back down)

Aang: Shoot.

Me: Okay, so now, what was your favorite past life?

Aang: Obviously, Roku, considering he's the only one I know

Me: Jeez, don't be so cranky. Okay, so it's Roku. Great. Now, how much do you like riding animals?

Aang: How much? Wow I—

Me: And that's all the time we have for now folks. Please tune in tomorrow for the next guest.

Aang: Wait! I didn't get to answer the question!

Me: Security!

Aang: Hey! No fair! HEY! HEY!

(The guards drag Aang offstage as he continues to scream the answer, unheard by the audience. Jenni smiles at the camera.)


	2. Sokka & Katara

Sokka & Katara

Me: Welcome back to, "The Jenni Show". Today, we have two guests rather than one. Please give a warm welcome to, Sokka and Katara from the southern water tribe!

(Sokka and Katara shuffle in and take their seats beside desk)

Me: Sokka, Katara, I hear you're traveling with the avatar, whom you freed from an ice cube in the South Pole. Correct?

Katara: Yes, actually, but it was an iceberg, not cube.

Sokka: Does it really matter Katara?

Katara: Yes, it does.

Sokka: No, it doesn't!

Me: Guys, please! You're on national television.

Sokka: What is that!

(Whips out boomerang and throws it at the cameraman. Cameraman is knocked out.) Shoot! I missed!

Me: What in the world were you trying to hit!"

Sokka: That big funny-shaped black thing pointing at me!

Me: That's the camera you nitwit! It's harmless! Now Larry's out. Somebody get the medics down here!

Sokka: What'd I do? What'd I do?

Katara: Sokka, you'd better let me handle this.

Sokka: Why? I'm the older sibling and I'm the leader, so I get to handle this.

Katara: You just took out the cameraman!

Sokka: I was only acting on warrior's instinct.

Me: You can get yourself killed doing that.

Sokka: Shut up!

Katara: Sokka! She's our host!

Sokka: Don't care.

(Pulls a piece of seal jerky out of his pocket and gnaws on it angrily)

Katara: Sorry about that Jenni, he's an idiot sometimes.

Me: I understand, I have a younger brother who can be a pain in the—

Sokka: TRYING TO EAT!!!

Katara: Be quiet! We're discussing something! Ow! What hit me?

(Katara clutches her head as a bulb from the ceiling breaks loose from its socket. Sokka leaps up, an unnoticed-until-now club in his hand, the jerky in the other. He brandishes it in the air.)

Sokka: Firebenders! Come out now! I know you're here!"

(Leaps into the filming pit and attacks the crew. Katara is screaming at him to stop and Jenni, sensing that they could go off air any second now, begins to yell the ending speech to the camera.)

Me: Well everyone, that's all the time we have for today! Please tune in tomorrow when we finally get the equipment running again and I'll have some calmer guests in! Goodni—

(Screen fizzles, then quits)


	3. Jet

Jet

Me: Hi and welcome back to " The Jenni Show". Luckily, we were able to get the cameras up and running along with the staff after yesterday's fiasco. I have a new guest today. Please welcome, Jet!

(Jet wanders on stage, his Twin-Tiger swords in hand, a sour expression on his face. He takes a seat and sheathes his swords.)

Me: Hey Jet.

Jet: Hi.

Me: So, you're the protector of innocent peoples against the Fire Nation, am I right?

Jet: Dead right.

Me: Good, I think. Now tell me, why are you so miffed with the Fire Nation?

Jet: Because the whole bunch of them are selfless, heartless murderers.

Me: Interesting way of putting it. I happen to know three firebenders and all of them save lives on a daily basis.

Jet: Impossible!

Me: No, they even fight fires and they work with the law enforcement at the fire department.

Jet: You mean there's a special department where they start fires? Where is it? I'll tear it down!

Me: Cool it buster, the fire department is just a name for it, and unless you're talking about Ray Bradbury's " Fahrenheit 451", they don't start fires. They put them out.

Jet: Pfft.

Me: So okay, don't believe me. In any case, how'd you become leader of that band of kids you lead?

Jet: They just started following me around one day. Every one of them has a problem with the firebenders.

Me: I think you're just overreacting.

Jet: Try saying that with one of these in your mouth!

(Whips out swords and aims at me)

Me: Security! Confiscate!

Jet: Hey! No, give those back! I need those!

(Brandon and his assistant Charley wrench swords from Jet's grasp while third man, Rufus holds him down.)

Me: Now that you're safer to be around, I'll ask you something else. Do you, or do you not think that you deserved what you got when Katara creamed you after you blew up the dam?

Jet: I most certainly do not think I deserved that! She was a traitor for siding with the enemy and she did not 'cream' me!

Me: It was funny though, seeing her splash you three times and then freeze you to the tree. I couldn't stop laughing!

Jet: Why you—

(Jumps up and kicks the desk aside. I jump up and run to the other end of the stage, Jet in hot pursuit.)

Me: So okay! Short segment I know! But desperate times call for desperate measures and if this isn't desperate, I don't know what is! Having a hotheaded freakazoid chasing me around the studio certainly is no picnic!

Jet: You are so dead!

Me: It's against the law to kill the show host!

(Leaps over fallen desk.)

Jet: Come back here!

Me: Anyway folks, that's all the time we have for today! Tune in tomorrow for the next, hopefully calmer guest and maybe some better security! Security! Goodnight! HELP!

(Leaps past the camera and Jet smashes into it, causing the screen to fizzle, then go blank.)


	4. Zhao & Jun

Zhao & Jun

Me: Welcome to another segment of "The Jenni Show". Yesterday's incident with Jet went more smoothly than I imagined it would, since I did plan to annoy him, but not to that point. Anyway, give a warm welcome to our two new guests, Bounty Hunter Jun, and Admiral Zow!

Zhao: That's Zhao!

(Both enter onstage and take their seats.)

Me: So, say hi to the people guys.

Both: Hi.

Me: So Jun, you're a bounty hunter? What exactly do you do?

Jun: I hunt people down with my sheer-shu.

Me: That anteater, hound mix thingy?

Jun: What?

Me: Never mind. Zhao, so you're admiral of the fire navy, right?

Zhao: Yes. I was promoted last week.

Me: I saw your battle with the avatar at Jeong Jeong's campsite. You know, Aang was right, they will make any body Admiral these days.

Zhao: Why you—

Me: Up, up, up, been there, done that yesterday afternoon before Jet wrecked the cameras. Tell me, why are you so bent on capturing the avatar? As far as I know, it's only a vanity project.

Zhao: Is not! I have the Fire Nation's interests at heart when I try to capture him.

Me: You have a heart?

Zhao: You're really starting to get on my nerves you know that?

Me: Just doing' my job. Now Jun, what happened after you were struck down by your own sheer-shu and it ran off?

Jun: I ran after it. That boy still has to pay me for my sheer-shu's services.

Me: Zuko?

Jun: Yes. I searched for three weeks before I finally found the thing.

Me: Don't get angry with me for what you did.

Jun: I didn't do anything! That crazy firebender and that pot-bellied guy ran off and I still haven't gotten paid!

Me: Settle down, Junie.

Jun: What'd you call me?

Me: Zhao! Is it true that everyone thinks you highly resemble a hog-nosed curly tailed monkey?

Zhao: WHAT?

Me: Well, they do.

Zhao: You want to get her or should I?

Jun: I'll go for the eyes.

Me: (Gulp) Oh, boy. Now I know why Jerry Springer is thinking of retiring.

(Leaps over the desk and runs backstage, Zhao and Jun following closely behind. Loud crashes erupt from the back and I rush out while they've lost me in the dark backstage area.) Okay, now while they're detained, I'll end this show while I still can. Thanks for tuning in, hopefully my luck will change and I'll—

Zhao: There she is!

Jun: Get her!

Me: Yikes! And I'll see ya'll tomorrow! Remember to tune in!

(Jumps off the stage and runs up the aisle and into the street with Zhao and Jun close behind. Cameras off.)


	5. Iroh

Iroh

Me: Welcome back to "The Jenni Show" where I introduce all the characters from your favorite shows! As guest today, we have a very special guest, Uncle Iroh, formerly known as General Iroh, AKA The Dragon of The West. Not sure as to why. Come on out Iroh!

(Iroh steps onto the stage and does his monkey grin at the audience. Takes a seat by the desk)

Iroh: Hello

Me: Glad to have you on the show, especially after yesterday. Believe you me hospitals aren't fun.

Iroh: Hah! Hah! Hah!

Me: Now tell me, how long have you been retired?

Iroh: Going on ten years now.

Me: Hmm, and why are you traveling the world in search of the avatar, who I might mention is backstage at this very moment?

Iroh: I am not chasing him, my nephew is.

Me: So, out of loyalty and love for your nephew, you decided to tag along?

Iroh: That's right.

(An, 'awwww', from the audience.)

Me: That's great. Now, I hear your favorite game is Pai-Chow and you are very stubborn about your Lotus Tile? Correct?

Iroh: Yes, many believe the Lotus Tile to be insignificant, but it is actually quite useful. My nephew, unfortunately, is one of those people.

Me: I see. Now, how old is your nephew?

Iroh: Sixteen, going on seventeen in a month or so. He sometimes forgets, so I like to remind him.

Me: Well, when it finally hits him, tell him I said Happy Birthday.

Iroh: Why don't you do it when you eventually talk to him?

Me: I'm not that crazy

Iroh: Hah!

Me: Now, what do you think of your niece, Azula?

Iroh: I think she's nuts.

Me: Why's that?

Iroh: I'm going to be here for four hours. To put it short, she thinks she's older than she is, and she's always trying to kill her brother.

Me: In other words, the two of you don't get along with her.

Iroh: Precisely.

Me: I'm not looking forward to having her as a guest. Could you stay tomorrow?

Iroh: I'm afraid not, I've bought a small box of ginseng tea and I must put it to use.

Me: Dang. Oh well, I'll dig up some fireproof suits and hope she doesn't kill me.

Iroh: Hah!

Me: Thanks Iroh. That was today's segment, thank you for coming Iroh. Tune in tomorrow for the next guest.


	6. Azula

Azula

Me: Welcome back to "The Jenni Show"! Today, we have a fiery guest who I'm quite scared of. In fact, if this guest were on American Idol, even Simon would be afraid to critique her. Please welcome, Princess Azula!

(Azula frowns at the audience and takes a seat by the desk. She twirls a loose strand of hair and glowers at me.)

Azula: Make this quick okay?

Me: I'll try. Now, Azula, I hear you're on a mission to capture your brother and the avatar.

Azula: Yes.

Me: Aren't you named for Fire Lord Azulon, your grandfather who died under mysterious circumstances?

Azula: Yes.

Me: I feel like I'm interrogating you, will you please give better answers? This is a talk show, not a prison base.

Azula: If I don't want to be here, then I don't have to talk!

Me: (sighs) Sheesh, I should have listened to mom when she said go into accounting. Anyhow, Azula, why do you consider your brother to be worthless?

Azula: You mean besides the fact that he is?

Me: Try telling that to the hoards of fans he has.

Azula: Fans!

Me: Uh-huh

Azula: How does he have fans? He's an idiot!

Me: No, actually, he's not. Several times during the show, he's saved lives, spared lives, made honorable decisions and proved many times that he indeed, has his honor.

Azula: He has no honor!

Me: Does

Azula: Does not!

Me: Does

Azula: Does not!

Me: Does not!

Azula: Does!

Me: How cute, you're defending Zuko's honor against me.

Azula: What? No I'm not, you tricked me!

Me: Oh well, at least we all know the truth

Azula: What truth?

Me: That Zuko is so much better a fighter than you can be.

Azula: What! I'm going to kill you!

Me: Not again! I'm gone! That's all the time we have for today folks! Tune in tomorrow to see the next guest, if I'm still alive that is! Bye!

(Leaps off stage and runs into the back with Azula trailing close behind. Cameras off.)


	7. Toph

Toph

Me: Hi and welcome back to "The Jenni Show". Today, I have a very new member to the gang. Please give a warm welcome to Toph!

(Toph wanders in and takes a seat, staring blankly into space because of her inability to see the audience.)

Toph: Hello

Me: So you're teaching Aang Earthbending, right?

Toph: Yeah, so what?

Me: I think it's fascinating that you can hear the earth speak to you with your feet, so to speak.

Toph: Hmph, well at least someone understands.

Me: So, you're from a very sophisticated family? Right?

Toph: Yes. They think that just because I blind, it means I'm helpless. They don't get it.

Me: We do. We wish you could do a little Earthbending, but we've had enough damages to the studio recently and the last thing we need is more damages.

Toph: I won't ask.

Me: Much obliged. Now, why don't you and Katara get along well?

Toph: She thinks I don't pull my own weight. I don't let anyone else carry my stuff, I do things all on my own.

Me: Right. But don't you think that you could help now and then?

Toph: Now don't you start on me too.

Me: Sorry. Do you remember when you met Iroh? How you gave him advice on communicating with his nephew? What do you think that meant to him, judging on how you acted?

Toph: I think that he was grateful. I think he figured I wasn't helpless by the way I pummeled him.

Me: Uh-huh. Are you glad you talked to him?

Toph: To tell you the truth Janie—

Me: Jenni

Toph: Sorry. Jenni, to tell you the truth, I am glad I talked to him.

Me: Great. Want to go get a smoothie after this segment?

Toph: Sounds great. I like orange.

Me: Same here! Well, that's all the time for today. Remember to tune in tomorrow for the next guest and final segment of this week's topic. I'll also introduce the next topic. See you!

(Leaves desk and stage, Toph following, discussing smoothies. Cameras off.)


	8. Zuko

Zuko

Me: Welcome to the final segment of this week's topic, Avatar-The Last Airbender. Today, we have none other than the prince of the Fire Nation, Zuko himself. It took awhile to persuade him to show up, but it was worth it, provided he doesn't burn the place down. Everyone, welcome Zuko to the show!

(Zuko comes onstage and ignores the audience. He sits down, arms folded, staring at the desk.) Say hi to everyone.

Zuko: Hi

Me: Jeez, don't get overenthusiastic on us. Anyway, how's your mission going?

Zuko: Could be better

Me: Right. So, I talked to your uncle a couple of days ago. He says you're turning seventeen now.

Zuko: (Hisses in anger) Yes.

Me: Happy Early Birthday.

Zuko: One more word and you're dead.

Me: Know how many times the others had threatened me with that now?

Zuko: Don't care.

Me: Didn't expect you to. Now, why are you so bent on capturing Aang?

Zuko: To restore my honor and birthright.

Me: Zuko, listen here. You think you don't have honor? I want you to be quiet for a moment while the audience screams out their opinion.

(Deafening roar throughout studio as spectators yell, "Honor! Honor! Honor!")

Zuko: They seriously think I still have my honor?

Me: Uh-huh. You're one of the few good firebenders left. Give him a hand folks!

Zuko: I don't believe you.

Me: Whether you believe me or not, that's your decision. But for now, I also talked with your sister. She seems nice.

Zuko: Are you nuts!

Me: Sarcasm is a foreign language to you, isn't it? Anyways, she said that she thinks you're worthless. Do you believe that?

Zuko: Of course not.

Me: Good. Now, I hear from a very reliable source, that you have a nickname. Zuzu, I believe it is?

Zuko: Do not call me that!

Me: What? Zuzu? Isn't that your pet name your sister gave you?

Zuko: Stop calling me Zuzu! My name is Zuko!

Me: Sure, you say.

Zuko: I warned you! Didn't I warn you?

Me: (gulps as his fists begin to glow ominously) Yes you did. Is it too late for a second warning?

Zuko: Arrgh!

Me: AAAAAAIIIIIIYYYYYYYEEEEEEE!!! Well folks, that's all for this segment! Tune in next week for a segment on Miyazaki's Spirited Away! In the mean time, I'd better spirit myself away! So long!

(Disappears from view with Zuko throwing fireballs at her. Camera shuts off. Screen goes blank.

Author's note: No Stunt doubles of the show host were injured in this production unless you count Ashley and the slight abrasion after being run over by a semi truck.


End file.
